Джилл Симс — библиография

It's time for a w(h)ine 'Oh, for f*ck's sake' muttered Claire under her breath, as she opened the fridge to see what she could find for a no effort dinner. The children continued to fight behind her. They regarded any form of fish not encased in breadcrumbs as toxic, and were resistant enough to the delicious homemade fishfingers Claire had made for them, insisting they much preferred Captain Birdseye's version. White wine was starting to look like quite an appealing dinner actually. Maybe just a small glass. 'Are you having wine, Mum? You know you're not supposed to have wine every night. We did about alcohol units at school. That's quite…

Tuesday 8th September First day back at school. I am going to 100% nail being a school mummy this year. I can totally do this. Yes, this year is definitely going to be much better - I am absolutely not going to shout at the children, let them stuff their faces with crisps or goggle away on the iPad. And I most certainly will not slump on the sofa at the end of the day, glugging wine and muttering 'FML' repeatedly. Unfortunately I have not yet actually managed to buy the bento boxes for their lunches or book jiu jitsu lessons, and I will have to learn to like green tea, as it is foul, and I have not yet mastered French plaits, but I am…

Эллен так долго была мамой и женой, что полностью растерялась. И несмотря на ее титанические усилия, ни один из обожаемых членов ее семьи так и не знает, где в доме искать корзину для грязного белья, или в чем разница между скукой и голодом, или что фраза "Мамочка, я никак не могу этого найти" - совсем не то же самое, что активные поиски! Полностью одурев от школьных экзаменов деток и испытаний в автошколе, она делает все возможное и невозможное, чтобы удержать свою семью на плаву, даже когда каждый тянет одеяло на себя и норовит улизнуть в нежелательном направлении - не забывая потребовать у нее сверток с бутербродами и яблоком поутру.…

I just want them to stop wittering at me, eat vegetables without complaining, let me go to the loo in peace and learn to make a decent gin and tonic.

It genuinely never occurred to me when they were little that this would ever end - an eternity of Teletubbies and Duplo and In The Night Bastarding Garden and screaming, never an end in sight. But now there is. And despite the busybody old women who used to pop up whenever I was having a bad day and tell me I would miss these days when they were over, I don't miss those days at all.

I have literally never stood wistfully in the supermarket and thought 'Oh, how I wish someone was trailing behind…

Issi on V?ga T?htis Mees ja talle meeldivad tehnikavidinad. Ja tema kuur. Lapsed Peter ja Jane istuvad lakkamatult m?ne ekraani taga, ning kui nad seda ei tee, ?ritavad nad teineteist ?ra tappa ja ajavad emmet hulluks.On emme 39. s?nnip?ev. Tema ees seisab lohutu pilt tulevikust, t?is inimesi, kes kutsuvad teda edasij?udnute joogasse, ning ontlikke raamatuklubisid, kus iga?ks v?idab end olevat svipsis p?rast esimest klaasi veini ja ?tleb asju nagu „Isver, kas sa jood t?esti veel ?he?“.Aga emme ei taha seda k?ike! Ta ei taha, et temast saaks ?ks neist m?istliku soenguga naistest, kes „elavad oma laste jaoks“ ja kiitlevad v?sukeste…

Tere tulemast emme maailma!Emme r?blikust poeg Peter on oma iPhone’iga kokku kasvanud, nagu ?hendaks neid naban??r. Puberteediikka j?udnud Jane on v?tnud kindlalt p?he Instagramis staariks saada. Issi k?ib aga aina tihedamini eksootilistel ?rireisidel …Pinged emme abielus kasvavad, lapsed muutuvad aina p??rasemaks ja maja kipub igast otsast lagunema. Ainult Judgy, Uhke ja ?llas Terjer, j??b ustavaks. Lisaks ootavad emmet uued v?ljakutsed, sest ta asub t??le trendikas start-up’is. Lisaks sellele, et 42aastasena pole kuigi lihtne kott-toolist mingigi v??rikusega p?sti saada, on ta endast suutnud j?tta kolleegidele (kogemata) mulje kui…

The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.Welcome to Mummy’s world…The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips…Mummy’s marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always.Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. But not only is she worrying if,…

Issi on V?ga T?htis Mees ja talle meeldivad tehnikavidinad. Ja tema kuur. Lapsed Peter ja Jane istuvad lakkamatult m?ne ekraani taga, ning kui nad seda ei tee, ?ritavad nad teineteist ?ra tappa ja ajavad emmet hulluks. On emme 39. s?nnip?ev. Tema ees seisab lohutu pilt tulevikust, t?is inimesi, kes kutsuvad teda nende edasij?udnute joogasse, ning ontlikke raamatuklubisid, kus iga?ks v?idab end olevat svipsis p?rast esimest klaasi veini ja ?tleb asju nagu „Isver, kas sa jood t?esti veel ?he?“. Aga emme ei taha seda k?ike! Ta ei taha, et temast saaks ?ks neist m?istliku soenguga naistest, kes „elavad oma laste jaoks“ ja kiitlevad…

The smash hit Sunday Times bestseller.Tuesday 8th SeptemberFirst day back at school. I am going to 100% nail being a school mummy this year. I can totally do this. Yes, this year is definitely going to be much better – I am absolutely not going to shout at the children, let them stuff their faces with crisps or goggle away on the iPad. And I most certainly will not slump on the sofa at the end of the day, glugging wine and muttering ‘FML’ repeatedly.Unfortunately I have not yet actually managed to buy the bento boxes for their lunches or book jiu jitsu lessons, and I will have to learn to like green tea, as it is foul, and I have not yet…

Family begins with a capital eff.I’m wondering how many more f*cking ‘phases’ I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me ‘it’s just a phase!’ for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is ‘just a phase.’ Potty training and the associated accidents ‘is just a phase’. The tantrums of the terrible twos are ‘just a phase’. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the…

Issi on Väga Tähtis Mees ja talle meeldivad tehnikavidinad. Ja tema kuur. Lapsed Peter ja Jane istuvad lakkamatult mõne ekraani taga, ning kui nad seda ei tee, üritavad nad teineteist ära tappa ja ajavad emmet hulluks. On emme 39. sünnipäev. Tema ees seisab lohutu pilt tulevikust, täis inimesi, kes kutsuvad teda edasijõudnute joogasse, ning ontlikke raamatuklubisid, kus igaüks väidab end olevat svipsis pärast esimest klaasi veini ja ütleb asju nagu „Isver, kas sa jood tõesti veel ühe?“. Aga emme ei taha seda kõike! Ta ei taha, et temast saaks üks neist mõistliku soenguga naistest, kes „elavad oma laste jaoks“ ja kiitlevad võsukeste…