The Ups and Downs of a Mail Order Aspirant

Excerpt from The Ups and Downs of a Mail Order Aspirant: Described in a Series of Ten Letters

Dear Father:

Undoubtedly you have been wondering, and mother has been worrying, as to why you did not hear from your wandering boy - the kid that strayed away from turnip fields and corn husks to find for himself a foothold in the city. Well, I haven't been swallowed up in this giddy whirl of dissipation - perhaps because the munificent salary which I am paid for standing behind the counter measuring off yards of dress linings would not permit me to enter it.

I suppose mother has been worrying about my health, but I want to assure you that I have not been sick, but I have been, and still am, very ambitious; - scheming would be a better word. Scheming and planning to make a lot of money so that I can come back and add to father's somewhat scanty acres, the rich, fertile meadows which he has coveted ever since I was old enough to notice the longing eyes he cast upon it - and mother, rich enough to build just such a house as you want. And I have started in the business of making money so you may begin at once to plan just what kind of a house you will have, for it will be yours, just as you want it to be, even to the tiniest dot of a window or the biggest closet.

But aren't you both just burning with curiosity to know all about it? It's a sure thing, is this future wealth. The plan cannt fail, only, father, I am going to ask just a little help from you, which I know you'll not refuse for I shall be able to hand it back doubled. That's better interest than the old mortgage holder squeezed out of you, isn't it? Father, I want you to send me $50 and within a month after I am fairly under way, you'll get it back with an extra fifty. Please don't refuse or delay, as it means so much to me - and to you both. The truth is, I have started a "mail order business" which I conduct in the evenings.

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